Talatubbies
by Ladii Starr
Summary: “DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUT COMMERCIALS IN HERE?” Brabra screamed furiously, popping out of the screen. “I mean really. As if kids are really going to buy Magic Makeup.” uh...new chapter up XD
1. Talatubbies

It got deleted because of the format, so now I have to use real dialogue. Ewwww. ee; XD

Disclaimer - I own nothing this fic. If someone already made the connection between Tala and Teletubbies, too bad, because I did too, and I'm making a parody of it. Actually, I don't even own the thing in the "commercial". Wow. I feel poor...

TALATUBBIES!

By Ladii Starr

This is what happens when Tala buys the company that created the Teletubbies. Dear lord...

The gay theme song began.

Stinky-winky!

Tipsy!

Bra-bra!

Ho!

Talatubbies! Talatubbies! Say "You ho" "YOU HO"

A big sun with a human face that looks suspiciously like Bryan but has hair like Tala's rises and shrieks"YOU HO"

The smallest Talatubbie, Ho, the pink one who had a large nose and a striking resemblence to Ian, began to sob hysterically.

Tipsy was swaying. "Duhh, Ho, yur foonay, hyuck-hyuck!" He guffawed stupidly.

Tipsy is the um, tallest of them all, the yellow one with blonde hair (Spencer?) who is always holding a bottle of vodka and drinking from it.

Bra-bra rolled his eyes and scowled.

"Hn. You're incredibly stupid, Tipsy. Ho deserves this."

At this, Ho started to cry even harder.

Bra-bra is tall (although not as tall as Spe- I mean Tipsy). Kai- I mean, Bra-bra is the puke green one, and unlike the others, is also wearing a pink lace Victoria's Secret bra.

"Do not say that Bra-bra! You might discourage the children watching the show!" Stinky-winky smiled gaily at the camera. "Don't worry kids! Bra-bra really loves and cares about Ho! Ho is a swellerific guy!"

Stinky-winky is a kind, gentle girl (or boy? I dunno) who joined the show to make children happy. He/She is the LAVENDER one, his no her favorite color. Like the color of her beyblade, holding his bitbeast, Unicoloyon

Bra-bra snorted. "Swellerific?" he muttered.

The Bryan Sun spoke in a monotone. "Yes. Ho is swellerific."

Tipsy blinked rapidly. "Uhh, Ho is a guy? Haha! Haha!"

Ho had stopped his bawling, but he promptly began to cry again.

"Now look what you did!" Stinky-winky exclaimed indignantly.

"Err…I LIKE EGGS!" And then Tipsy passed out, spilling his alcohol on the floor.

Ho stopped crying. "VODKA!" he screamed and he ran over and started hungrily licking the floor.

Stinky-winky sweatdropped.

"Let's take a commercial break, shall we?"

Cheesy music that's a rip-off from the Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy comes on.

Kai jumps into the picture, wearing the same pink bra except this time over his regular clothes. "ARE YOU READY BRABOY"

Max leaps into the picture, wearing a white lace Victoria's Secret bra and poufy white tutu over his usual outfit. "YES BRAMAN! BRABOY IS ALWAYS READY"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Braboy"

"Only if you're thinking..."

" TO THE BRACAVE!"

Braman and Braboy are shown skipping towards Victoria's Secret. When they're about to go in, the image of them freezes and Mr. Dickinson's voice cheerily announces "Coming soon! The Adventures of Braman and Braboy! Beginning in one week on TPBS (Tala's Pretty Boy Suckers)! Right after Talatubbies"

"Well now that Tipsy is actually half sober," Stinky-winky muttered, "although HO is a different story-"

Ho sat contentedly in the corner, hiccupping and taking occasional sips from his vodka bottle.

" -we'll get back to"

Suddenly, a voice from behind said, "Eww, you have a stinky winky! Hey everyone, OLIVER HAS A STINKY WINKY!"

" WHAT?" Stinky-winky shouted. "I MOST CERTAINLY DO NO- I mean I'm sure this Oliver boy you speak of doesn't have a stinky winky and..."

As Oliver ranted on and on, a boy in the audience questions his mother.

"Mama, what's a winky?" Kevin asked curiously.

The mother hesitated. "I can't tell you any more than that you will...eventually have one."

"WOW! Squirrel monkeys have winkies?"

"And that's why this "Oliver" person does NOT HAVE A STINKY WINKY!" Stinky-winky concluded, back on stage.

Backstage, Johnny was laughing.

Tala walked in. "JOHNNY! What are you doing here?"

"BOSS!" Johnny exclaimed. "I-

" You're supposed to be the villain in AOBAB (Adventures of

Braman and Braboy)! Not in TALATUBBIES!" Tala looked cross.

Johnny smirked. "Yeah, but you know me boss, couldn't help having a little fun with ole stinky-winky!"

Tala looked scared and kept looking rapidly from Johnny to his shorts.

"OY!" Johnny screamed, slapping his forehead. "NOT THAT STINKY WINKY! HEY WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU CALLING MY WINKY STINKY?"

Tala looked from Johnny to his shorts then back at Johnny. He paused. "Yes."

"YEAH WELL MY WINKY ALREADY HAS A NAME AND IT ISN'T STINKY! ISN'T THAT RIGHT DAVIS?" Johnny screamed, stroking his…shorts. (COUGH COUGH COUGH)

Tala slowly backed away. "Riiiiight, sorry to insult you and er, Davis."

"WHAT? NEVER TAKE THE NAME OF DAVIS IN VAIN!" Hysterical, Johnny threw Tala out the window separating them from the set.

Tala fell. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" He took a breath from an inhaler that randomly popped into the story from nowhere. "Ah. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Bra-bra was saying, "And that is why evil is the right path to choose for your li-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tala crashed right on top of Ho.

"Ha ha ha! The sky had a baby and Ho is da daddums! Hyuck!" Tipsy screeched.

Ho promptly fainted.

Tala coughed nervously. "Heh heh heh…" He ran off stage like a little girl.

Stinky-winky couldn't think. "Uhhhh...yes children, look at that! The sky had a baby!"

"Derr, Ho, where dish yur baybee go?" Tipsy slurred.

Ho puked, appalled.

"Oh my! Ho is dead! You must perform CPR Bra-bra!" Stinky-winky cried.

"…"

"Come on! Answer me!"

"...no."

"Dear Lord! I must write a letter to inform the hospital!" Stinky-winky shrieked.

Backstage, Johnny was jeering. "HA! YOUR "FATHER" DIED TALA!"

"...Davis."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DIE!" Johnny pounced and attacked him, forcing Tala to scream like a sissy.

Everyone on the Talatubbies set heard a scream.

"Oh, my..." Stinky-winky passed out.

"Finally," Bra-bra growled. "Show's over. Now the REALLY good show will start. MINE-I mean the Adventures of Braman and Braboy special preview episode. So leave my presence. NOW."

Many "innocent" people were harmed in the making of this fic. (jp.) Yes they all are idiots, aren't they?

Thanks for reading one of the most pointless things ever! RR!


	2. The Christmas Special!

Thank you all for reviewing! 33 Much love goes out to you. Now, I originally hadn't planned on writing another chapter to "Talatubbies", as "The Adventures of Braman and Braboy!" was supposed to be kind of a sequel/companion, but you've motivated me to. nn I whipped this up off the top of my head, so I hope you aren't all TOO disappointed. It was kind of spur of the moment.

Ready for some insanity, children?

Disclaimer: I do not own "Beyblade" or "Teletubbies". I just spoof them. XD And I don't mean to offend anyone with this. So if you read this and are offended, I deeply apologize. D

Talatubbies

THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

by Ladii Starr

The theme song that you all know and love has returned! Except…it's sounding a bit…seasonal….

Stinky-winky! jingle jingle winky!

Tipsy! jingle jingle

Bra-bra! jingle jingle

Ho! jingle jingle

Talatubbies! Talatubbies! Say "You ho" 

"YOU HO!" more jingling than ever

The BryanSun rose and shrieked, "YOU - WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FREAKING JINGLE BELLS ALREADY? I THINK THE CHILDREN GET THE FREAKING POINT!" This prompts many poor little kids in the audience to burst into tears.

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" Stinky-winky yelled, glaring sternly at BryanSun. At least…it appears to be Stinky-winky. His usual au couture lavender suit was adorned with tinsel, which also crowned her green hair, and a pair of angel wings was on his back.

Tipsy blinked. "Uhh, god of the sun? What _is _the point, oh great one?" Tipsy pretty much looked the same, with the exception of a large star on top of his head.

Bra-bra rolled his eyes and smacked his forehead. "My GOD. Bryan isn't the 'god of the sun', you ass wipe, and the point is, IT'S THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!"

Bra-bra's puke green outfit matched spectacularly with the seasonal red bra he was wearing. (He saves it for special occasions.) Across the bra was sloppily written, "GRANDPA LOVES YOU KAI! XOXO" in green paint.

"But…isn't it July?" Ho asked, confused. Ho was wrapped in Christmas lights like a straitjacket, and he was unable to move his arms and legs, forcing him to hop around like a mental little bunny.

"What an amazing observation," Bra-bra said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Why yes! Yes it is!" Stinky-winky beamed at Ho as if he was his daughter and had just said her first word. "But we are trying to educate children so that they will know what to do when Christmas comes around. So, let's talk to some children in the audience." He approached a trembling young boy. "What is the meaning of Christmas?"

"Getting…presents?" he said timidly.

"No! Of course not, what are you, some kind of prude?" The kid began to cry. "Bra-bra, would you mind telling him what the meaning of Christmas is?"

"I don't know."

"Okay…then tell the nice children in the audience how you celebrate Christmas!"

"I don't."

"What was that?"

"I don't celebrate Christmas."

A loud, shocked gasp came through the entire studio. Kai…not celebrate Christmas! Heart…stopping…

"_Kai,_" Stinky-winky scolded in barely a whisper, ashamed.

"I don't celebrate anything," Bra-bra said coldly.

"Well-"

-Cue to commercial-

"DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUT COMMERCIALS IN HERE?" Bra-bra screamed furiously, popping out of the screen. "I mean _really._ As if kids are really going to buy Magic Makeup."

"OHMIGOD! I WANT IT!" a boy was heard shrieking loudly off camera.

Bra-bra chucked an old boot that way. "SHUT UP, MAX! What do you want it for, anyway?"

He was indignant. "Real men wear eyeliner."

"HEY-"

Okay, you're right Kai! No need for commercials .

-End commercial-

Stinky-winky coughed loudly. "Okay then. But Bra-bra _does_ admittedly pose an excellent point. Unfortunately. Some kids don't celebrate Christmas. Some of them celebrate _other_ holidays," he said sarcastically.

The rest of the cast stared at him.

"Uh, Oliver? Are you…racist?" Ho blinked.

"NO!" Oliver screeched, insanity flickering in his eyes. Everyone slowly backed away.

"And I thought he was bad before," Bra-bra muttered, shaking his head. "Anyway, children, there are a few other winter holidays celebrated other than Christmas. There's Hanukkah, Kwanzaa…"

While he continued, Ho and Tipsy stared at each other. "Spencer…is Kai actually being…_educational_?"

The thought made even Spencer sober up for a second. But he quickly returned to guffawing stupidly and taking swigs from his bottle.

As this exchange went on, Tala pulled Stinky-winky, who was now hyperventilating, backstage. "What were you thinking?" he spat.

Oliver scowled. "It's not my fault Kai wants to advocate other holidays."

Tala shook his head. "I'm not talking about KAI. What about you? _You_ were the one rambling insanely onstage there."

The green haired boy turned slowly to face him. "Tala…do _you_ celebrate Christmas?" he whispered maniacally.

He sweatdropped. "Well…actually, I'm an atheist, but - "

"FEEL THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!" Oliver lunged at him, tackling him to the ground. Once again, a loud scream pierced the air and disturbed Kai's monologue.

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?" he yelled towards the wrestling teens.

Stinky-winky ran back onto the stage, going straight at the terrified children in the audience. "MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!" he howled at them, hurling jingle bells their way.

Kai looked at Max backstage. "We should have done a Christmas episode of The Adventures Braman and Braboy instead."

Fin. X.x No flames, please. nn; Haven't been having that good of a week. If you seriously hated it, just please don't review. However, if you liked it or would like to give constructive criticism in a friendly manner, go right ahead and review!


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